When I turned twenty-four in June, I had a panic attack. I had been out of college for two years, still living at home with no clear picture of what was ahead of me. I was forty thousand dollars in debt for a student loan I took out to get my degree. All I had to show for it was underemployment at a temp in an agency that was screening my calls. I was in a pretty dead end long distance relationship with a bad boy charmer that I did not trust. I stopped going out with friends because binge drinking with eighteen year olds had lost it's appeal for me once I was out of University. I lived in small major(ish) city where shopping and eating out are the biggest forms of entertainment (this becomes evident when you look at my closet and my ass). The scariest thing for me was that I was finding myself drinking half a bottle of wine on weekends ALONE. The weekend after my birthday, I decided I needed to move. I had to get away from my parents who shelter, finance, protect me or I would never make it on my own. I had to break up with the Lothario loser I was half in love with, and I had to make changes and goals to get my life to where I want it to be.
When I was graduating high school, my English teacher made us write letters to future selves which she would mail out in five or six years. I got my letter, and unfortunately, I'm not a medical resident engaged to a handsome billionaire European who finances my world travels and luxury lifestyle. If 18 year old me could see what a lazy bitch I've become, she would have done so much bad shit because really if your going to be a failure you may as well have fun. I wish I played hard and loved harder. But, I'm only twenty four. I'm young enough to change my life to be how it should be.
On my birthday, I decided to look into going back to school. My degree was useless for the kind of work I want to do. While researching schools, I found one that had a program I was really interested in. I applied and was accepted. (This all happened within two weeks). I've moved to Toronto for a fresh start. I enrolled in school and I'm going to give it at least one year to see if I can change the path my life was going down. My goal is to try one new thing everyday. This will be the journal of my quarter life crisis.
